When I think of security I think of driving through a thick forest just as Sunset begins. The windows are slightly down so the fresh air crisps my hands. But I do not notice as I'm warmed by the familiar presense of the man driving beside me.


When I think of seduction I think of sitting in a Bar in Montreal as a local Band is playing and the lady sharing my table has her knee pointing to mine. As the music plays the rest of her body follows and soon we are sharing a moment.


When I think of the one I think of the tall gentle giant. He has dark curly hair and a seductive intellect. His face shows me his soul and stride shows me his intentions. He has comedic timing and he is a creative genius. He likes the simple things like, red wine, bush walks, and staring at each other's face on a Sunday afternoon.

When I think of what I want, I think of her. She is tall and plain but she has so much soul. She holds me and i feel vulnerable. I feel so much more vulnerable around her than around a man. It's as if she knows me better than I know myself as our body entangles one another's.

The difference for me between being inlove with a woman and being with a man is that She sees me, and I see Him. What is that saying? I am not sure. And whether that will change I do not know either.

Self-doubt... Gosh that is so debilitating...

I have been feeling like I need change.. like my soul needs to be nutured and the only way for me to do that is to move to Montreal and study Creative Writing and/or Film....

Well that's what was going on in my head. And last night I started thinking maybe this won't happen. Maybe I am just daydreaming this in order to escape my current reality and to be honest that is what I do often.

But the truth is I do need change and may be it won't happen exactly as I am picturing it... but I need to - not rediscover myself - but actually for the first time DISCOVER myself... I am craving a creative enviorment.

I thought the picture above was fitting :)